First Week and Deafness

I suppose I should be used to it by now. The first week in a new place is always tough for me. Any place, any people, any situation. I always go through the same things, and they always make me question myself and my decisions. People who know me well will know that this post is about being deaf. There's no way around it. Being deaf makes complicated situations more complicated.

I won't lie. My first week in Malawi was rough. Like all the volunteers, I was adjusting to a new place and a demanding schedule and lost luggage (more about that later). But I was also in the position of being the first deaf person most of the people here had ever met, and they really didn't know how to communicate with me.

The volunteers all seemed nice enough. We talked enough to learn each other's names and little more. Of course, I was hoping to talk to the staff to learn as much as possible about wildlife rehabilitation. Instead staff members seemed very frustrated to have me as part of the team. I know they have a very hard job, and that it's challenging to adjust to new volunteers all the time. But I am very serious about this work, and at first staff didn't seem to want to talk with me at all. They got frustrated easily, and they seemed annoyed if I didn't understand them or asked them to repeat themselves. Sometimes it felt like they didn't have any patience or any interest in learning to deal with a deaf person.

That made me very disrespected. I wanted to cry, yell, and swear. I wanted to shout at everybody to let them know that I am an actual human being who happens to be deaf. I know it takes a little extra work to communicate with me, but I also know I can make a contribution if I get a little help. 

When I was younger, this would have sent me into a tailspin. Now, I have more perspective. I know that I have to be patient with hearing people. And I really don't want to misrepresent the deaf community by behaving badly. I want to rise above. I know that I'm doing the best I can as a deaf person and I need to give hearing people time to learn how to communicate with me.

I don't need a lot. Having things in writing helps. (I actually think that would help hearing volunteers too.) And people need to face me when they talk. They don't need to talk louder, but it helps if they slow down a little. And they could cut me a little slack if I don't understand something the first time they say it. It takes a little time to learn to lip read a lot of new people.

I got through the first week thinking about my goal. I didn't really come to Africa to make friends, (though I can't help hoping that will happen.) I came to learn more about wildlife rehabilitation. I'm here to help animals, and the animals here are amazing!

We have plenty of volunteers at Lilongwe, so every one of us is assigned one or two animals or projects. I'm currently caring for two baby vervet monkeys named Morrisey and Maymoun. I also make sure one other vervet monkey gets milk every few hours. 

At first, I couldn't believe what I was supposed to do as caregiver for a baby vervet. I just sit in the enclosure and let him be. No petting, grabbing, or cuddling of any kind. We do only what a mother monkey would do--letting the babies come to us and then grooming them by acting like we are looking for insects.

The two vervet monkeys are so entertaining--and tiring too! Morrisey is about 5-6 weeks old and Maymoun is maybe a little bit younger. Morrisey loves to cuddle with a towel or blanket when he naps. Maymoun would rather cling to my hand or arm when she sleeps. That makes sense since baby monkeys cling to their mothers when they sleep in the wild. 

When it's time to feed the babies, we give them bottles of milk through the fences without handling them. The policies are very strict, because we want to keep the babies wild and not too friendly toward humans. At first it was hard not to pet them because baby monkeys are so freaking adorable! But I agree with the mission at Lilongwe. These animals belong in the wild and we need to do everything we can to get them ready to return to their natural home.

In many ways, I feel like I've returned to my home. Despite all the challenges, I love being back in Africa. And I love being with the animals. Maybe that's because my deafness doesn't bother them at all. 

Gratitude

Yelp! Less than few days before I leave for Africa once again. I'll be gone for three months just like I was last time, but this trip feels very different. 

Before my last trip 2 and half years ago, I was working as an overnight stocker at Toys r Us before the holidays. It was a crazy job and there was only one thing that kept me going--earn enough money to go back to South Africa! I really wanted to get back to the animals in Africa, maybe because I didn't have much happening with people in America.

This time is different. I am taking a leave from a job and a work family that I have come to love. It happened gradually from my first days as a volunteer at the Wildlife Care Network. Now I care deeply about the work, the animals, and the people. I'm nearing my last days at work and it has been emotional. Leaving, even for a few months, is a lot harder than I thought it would be.

Preparing for this trip has also been very different. One of the projects sent me a packing list with strong recommendation about what I should bring. It has been a very interesting scavenger hunt, trying to track down all the supplies. Surgical gloves first aid kit, water purification. They even wanted me to try to pack sterile needles because they often have shortages.

The craziest part about my trip is that I'm leaving on the Sunday after Thanksgiving...I didn't think about this when I booked the trip, but that's the busiest day of the year at the airport! I don't mind all the people, but I hate the waiting. I will be flying out from L.A.X. which is about a two hour drive when there's no traffic. But is it Sunday after Thanksgiving so there will be traffic!!!

I figure I need to leave my town 7 hours before my flight is scheduled to leave just to be safe. Oh how my nerves will be all over the place! I know from my experiences on the last two trips I was a wreck up until I took my seat on the plane. Then I thought "What am I worried about?" and I passed out from the wrecked nerves =). It's a long flight from LA to London, but I bet I will sleep like a baby!

Since this was Thanksgiving week, some family members I don't see very often have been visiting. I'm very grateful I got to see my cousins, my aunts, and my uncle before I leave for Africa. They have been telling me that they are so proud of me and that it is amazing thing I will be doing. I've been so caught up in the details that it was good to take a deep breath and just feel the gratitude. I am grateful for my family and my newfound friends, grateful that I've found work I love in States, grateful for the opportunity to go back to Africa.

And now I've got to get back to packing!!!

A year ago, I was kind of in a holding pattern. I’d been in California for a while, but it didn’t look like I was going to meet and make good friends. Now I’ve found a community that I love. And I’m also going to fulfill a dream and go back to Africa too! I decided to start up this blog again to record my travels.

But maybe I should start at the beginning. Last fall, I was driving people around town and dog sitting to make money. I was playing  kickball and softball, and I satisfied my urge to explore by going on a few road trips. In the spring, I had a health scare and had to undergo surgery. When I found out I was healthy, I did extended training so I could start volunteering at the local Zoo in addition to the Santa Barbara Wildlife Care Network. A few days before the Refugio oil spill, the Network offered me a part-time job. Because the staff was working so hard to respond to the oil spill, I was quickly promoted to full-time.    

I’ve learned so much from working with WCN. The staff works very hard  and they’ve taught me so much about rescue and rehabilitation. Ever since my first trip to South Africa, I’ve been very aware that there is something extraordinary about seeing wild animals that are free. Wild animals are born on the same planet as we are, and I believe we should share the land with them. The people at WCN share that philosophy. We help animals that are sick or injured, but our goal is always to release them back into the wild as quickly as possible

A year ago, I didn’t think I would find a work family. I didn’t think I was going to get a chance to do what I love to do. But I never gave up on my dream of making things better for animals. I kept volunteering and never asked for a day off. I knew what I wanted and kept focused and committed to my values. I also knew that, during the winter, there aren’t as many animals at WCN.  It’s a small non-prrofit so they told me they would have to cut back my hours in the fall.  

I started thinking about what I could do to learn more about wildlife rehabilitation. It didn’t take long before I was planning my third trip to Africa. This trip will be very different from the other two. I will not be focusing on photography or siteseeing. I found 3 projects that focus on the kind of willife rehabilitation that I believe in so strongly. I’ll spend three months, working at three different projects in three different countries—Malawi, Namibia and South Africa. The placements will be different but the mission will be the same—helping sick and injured wildlife recover so they can return to the wild. 

In some ways, this trip is a gamble for me. I am leaving behind a job with an organization I have come to love and appreciate. There is no guarantee the job will be there for me when I return from Africa. I had to make a choice: work one day a week during the next few months or see what I could learn by helping other organizations that care about wildlife. It’s a risk but it’s one that I am willing to take.  . 

The other day I was talking with my mom and she asked me a question: “Why do you like working with animals?” I responded “I honestly don’t know.” And we just burst out in laughter.  

Later, I gave some serious thought to the question. At first, I thought that it’s just easier to be with animals than people.  And then I remembered that animals have been important to me ever since I was a small child. I grew up loving any animals I saw or came across. I don’t remember much about my first home in New Hampshire—except seeing a moose in the north country and seeing an owl that somehow got into our house.  (My Dad rescued it and set it free!)

When I was a little older in Ohio, I remember finding a baby bird and trying to care for it. I also remember the baby ducklings that got stuck in our pool and my brother helped rescue them. When I was a kid I also remember the emotions I felt when we visited the zoo or went to the circus. I didn’t like seeing animals in cages or being forced to perform. I think I always felt strongly that wild animals should be free.  

I guess most kids have different ideas about their dream job. For a while I wanted to be a Basketball player or a Soccer player. Or maybe a firefighter. In college, I thought about film-making, graphic design and, of course, photography. Now I feel as though I’ve found what I’m supposed to do. I feel as though I make a difference every time I am involved in rescuing, rehabilitating or releasing an animal. 

A Year in Motion

It's a little hard to believe, but one year ago, I was preparing to go to South Africa for three months of work as a volunteer photographer. At the time, I assumed I'd be working--either in Africa or America--by the end of the year.

That's not exactly how things worked out, and now I'm moving again in a different direction, and it seems like a good time to think about what has changed and what is the same.

This has been a year in motion. After those three months in Africa, I drove across the country by myself to help my parents get settled on the west coast. Then I drove all the way up the east coast from Florida. I've probably been in at least 45 of the fifty states.

What ties all this together is people. I came together with family after my grandmother died, and I got to be part of a memorial for a beloved coach. I reconnected with old friends and made new ones. And I shared in the joy when one of my great friends got married.

After I graduated from college, I think that I expected to find a place where I would get a job and settle down and have a circle of friends I saw all the time. Maybe that will still happen, but I've learned a lot from my year on the move.

1. It is not a bad thing to end up somewhere other than where you thought you were going. Life is unpredictable. Get used to it. Appreciate the detours. 
2. Dreams change. When I was in high school, my dream was to go to Hollywood and make movies. None of that matters to me anymore, and that's OK.
3. Step out of your comfort zone. Talk to strangers. They know things you never knew you wanted to know. Try new experiences. Even if they don't turn out the way you hoped, they will teach you things you never knew about yourself.
4. Make the most of every moment. That doesn't mean you have to change everything about your life, but you do want to be aware of every moment. And, if there's something that calls to you--and keeps calling, do it.

A year ago, I could not have predicted all the things that happened the past twelve months. And I honestly do not know where I will be a year from now. Will this be another year on the move? Or will it be the year that I find the job and the people that make me want to settle in one place? The only way to find the answer is to set off on the journey. Here I go!

Coach Ken McDonald

It's been a while since I posted an entry on this blog. A lot has happened, and I have many things to say. At the same time, I find it hard lately to be able to speak my thoughts or feelings out loud. In the past, writing has helped me think more clearly and make senses of my feelings. And now seems like the right time to try it again. Here goes.


I don't normally talk about the people in my life. I guess I'm kind of protective or private when it comes to family or friends. But there are a few people it seems like I should talk about, especially the ones whe have recently passed away.

The person who is in my heart this week was a soccer coach of mine. In 2009, he was the head coach for both the Men's AND Women's Soccer teams at Deaflympics. He believed in me and gave me a chance at a time when it felt like nobody else did, a time when I was even doubting myself. I wasn't the only person to have this experience. He did the same for hundreds, maybe thousands of other soccer players. His name was Ken McDonald, or as we affectionately called him, Coach Mac.

It's really hard for me to find the words to describe this great man who was so important to me and so many other people. When he was coaching the Deaflympics team, he always told me to believe in myself and I would do great things. I have so many memories of things he did to encourage me, but one stands out in my memory. It was halftime during the first game in the 2009 Deaflympics in Taiwan. Coach Mac pulled me out of the huddle and waved me over with a serious look on his face. I thought I had made a mistake in the first half and he was going to tell me that I had to do better. Instead he game a huge bear hug and smiled. "You did good," he said. It was just a simple sentence and gesture, but it got me pumped up. More than any lecture could, I wanted to prove him right. I wanted to do my best for the team, for Coach Mac, for myself. After the last game, when we were undefeated and had received our gold medals, I gave Coach Ken a huge hug and thanked him for seeing what I could do even when I couldn't see it for myself.


That's not the whole story. Coach Mac gave his all to our Deaflympics teams even though he was fighting for his life. He had a battle with cancer for 7 and half years. Even though he was sick, he kept on coaching soccer. I am amazed and humbled by his dedication and commitment to the players and teams he has coached during the last few years. He kept going because he had a deep love for the game, a powerful faith in the potential of his players and the support of his amazing wife, Terri. So many soccer players have benefited from Ken's immense knowledge of the game. So many young people have become better than they knew they could be because of his faith in them. So many of us have been inspired by his determination to make the most of his life despite his cancer.


Coach Mac died last weekend. It seemed important to me to put down in words the impact he had on my life. I am a better person because I knew him. His life made a difference, and he will be missed.

Sala kahle Thanda

Three months... The time flew by WAY too fast. I do not know how to describe or explain these extraordinary months. I could say it was like a dream or I could say it was epic. Nothing really captures the intensity of my experience and my emotions. All I know for sure is that I truly do not want to leave this magical place. I know it is time to move on and start another chapter of my life. And I also know that I will return to Africa again and again and again for the rest of my life.

Thursday was my last night and the game drive was absolutely amazing. We came across two male giraffes fighting for dominance. They were swinging their long necks at each other, hitting each other with their skulls and horns. I had seen this before, but it’s a rare sight and very exciting to watch.

Just before the sun set, we met up with the rest of the volunteers and staff at one of the highest peaks. This was my sixth and last sundowner on this trip, and it was absolutely gorgeous. The sun was setting behind one of the mountains and the sky was constantly changing colors, from baby blue to pinkish to purplish. Finally the sky was dark blue with a few bright stars coming out and an amazingly pinkish moon rising on the other side. I was feeling emotional, enjoying the views and thinking about how much I love this place. I renewed my vow to return.

On my last morning drive, I got lucky and saw my favorite of all animal – the rhinos. For some reasons, I have always enjoyed seeing rhinos, both individuals and as a group or crash. Even when they were being boring, just eating or standing around staring at us, I felt overwhelmed by their powerful, prehistoric look. That morning, I couldn’t help wondering whether this would be the last time I would see a rhino. Poaching is still a great danger and these magnificent animals are in danger of becoming extinct. I hope we will win the war against poachers and that the rhinos will be in less danger the next time I come to Africa.

After the morning drive, I decided to do the elephant interaction. I did this on my first visit, and this time was even better. After observing elephants so often in the wild, it was incredibly awe-inspiring to see these animals up close and simply stand beside them. I got to touch the same elephants I touched last year and I could see that the calf had grown a little bigger. I took my time, soaking it all in, feeding them, petting them, touching their trunks, and even talking to them. Their strength and presence made me feel more grounded, and it was a wonderful way to end my time on the Thanda game reserve.

Leaving was almost impossible. It was very hard to pack up everything. This has been my home for three months and I have come to love it very much. It was especially hard to say good-bye to the kitchen and housekeeping staff. Every single day, we made small talk or jokes together. They heard about when I fell on my butt trying the Zulu dance and have always teases me about it. When I was saying goodbye to the staff, they started clapping and doing the Zulu dance. I joined them and this time I was actually pretty good at it! ( I have been practicing!) This made it even harder to say goodbye to some of the friendlies people I have ever gotten to know. 

Saying goodbye to the land itself was also very sad. As we were packing the van with our luggage, I took one last look around, and it hit me hard that I was really leaving this place. I have watched the land turn from green to golden, and I have loved every single thing about it. I may have lived here for only three months, but Thanda feels like home in the most powerful sense of the word.

I will miss seeing the animals. This time, I got to know some of them as unique individuals with their own habits and temperaments. When I came last year, both lion prides were growing and had sub-adults cubs. This time, I got to see how much those cubs have grown. And now there are new cubs. It makes me sad to think I won't see them grow up. I have witnessed so much about how the lions and other animals live--mating, fighting, eating, drinking. As we drove away, I kept thinking about everything that has happened in the past three months, and I started to cry because I know I won't see this beautiful magical reserve for a long time.

In three months, I have met and gotten to know at least 30 volunteers from different countries as well as many local friends. I have shared laughs with many of them. Some of the people I've met have been incredibly inspiring, teaching me a lot about life and giving me ideas about what I can do when I return back to America. I'm truly lucky to have met so many extraordinary people. The experiences I've had here were more meaningful because they were shared with such wonderful people.

The African Impact team at Thanda has been absolutely incredible. On this trip, I have gotten to know them well, and every single member has made a huge impact on me and touched my heart. I am so proud of what they are doing and what they will be doing for the rest of the year. I feel truly humble and honored to have had them be part of my life for three months. Through them, I have learned so much more about myself, the type of person I am, the good and the bad. They have given me love and even tough love. I will always appreciate everything they have done for me.

I am genuinely sad to leave this amazing place which feels like my home, and the wonderful staff who have become my family. I will always have the last three months in my heart.

Sala kahle Thanda, South Africa, Africa

Thank you for allowing me to return and volunteer for three amazing months.

Thank you for the dedicated AI team members who taught me so much.

Thank you for all the fellow volunteers and the good times we have shared.

Thank you for many great experiences seeing the unique, wild animals that belong to this land.

Thank you for helping me learn so much more about who I am and what I want.

I shall return again and again and again.

This is not goodbye.

This is farewell. I WILL see you again.

With love from a heart that is overflowing.

25th Birthday in Africa

I had the GREATEST birthday ever in my entire life in Africa. That's saying something because I've had some pretty great birthdays in the past. This year, my birthday was made incredibly special by all of the amazing people here at Thanda. I woke up to a very sweet birthday card and a small gift from my roommate. It seems like fate that we are roommates because she's deaf in one ear and we've gotten to be really great friends.

Even before the morning game drive at 6 AM, everybody came up to me and wished me happy birthday, so I had a feeling it was going to be a great day. Surte enought, as soon as we got into the reserve, we found the two cheetah brothers. They often take a morning walk along the fence, only this time, several lions from the North Pride were standing in their way. When the cheetahs saw the lions, they immediately froze with their ears tensed up. The lions froze too. We were also tense because a couple weeks ago, the lions had killed one of the female cheetahs. It was very sad, but death is part of life here at Thanda.

After a few heart-pounding moments, the cheetahs looked back to see if they had an escape route. As soon as the lions started moving, the cheetahs turned around and walked as fast as they could right past the Land Rover while staying very low. They disappeared behind the Land Rover, and two of the lions jogged down the road chasing them away. The lions were obviously protecting their territory. i had never seen a confrontation between two big cats so we were off to a very exciting start!

We continued our morning drive, hoping to see other animals such as rhinos, elephants, or the other pride of lions. No such luck. We saw a few impalas and some birds. Then suddenly, I could hear excitement from the back of the Land Rover. Our guide stopped the vehicle immediately. He was looking intently at the thick dense bush on his right. I was in the passenger seat beside him, so I couldn't see much but it looked as though there was no opening along the dirt road. The guide turned to me and said quietly, "Leopard."

He pointed, and I immediately saw an orange coat with rosette shaped spots. I couldn't get a photo because the bush was so dense. If you didn't keep your eyes focused on the leopard, you would lose him in the shadows. This was only my second leopard sighting on this trip! It was a great birthday present! Then the leopard started moving and disappeared from sight. Our guide drove back and forth along the dirt road, hoping to find him again. No luck. We were pretty sure he was nearby, but he was very quiet and still and well-hidden.

Just when we were about to give up and move on, a leopard appeared on the side of the road. "It's not the same one," said our guide in surprise. "It's a different leopard." The second leopard was running, but our guide wouldn't let him get away that easily. He drove off the dirt road and into the dense bush. We caught a glimpse of the leopard running toward cover near one of the trees. Such a beautiful sight! His bright white and orange coat was covered with rosette spots.

We pulled back onto the dirt road and found a small opening where we could get off the road more easily. Our guide parked right under a tree and pointed to the second leopard. His face was blocked by some tree branches, so I couldn't get a photograph of him. I had to squeeze myself between two seats so I get a better view. Then I saw his entire face and body just laying low under a tree. I couldn't believe it! He was magnificent, and I managed to get a few wonderful photographs of him. Oh how happy I was! I had seen all three big cats on one drive! I showed our guide some of the photographs I had just taken and he whispered, "Best birthday, right?" I had to agree. This ws the best birthdy present I have ever gotten!

Everyone else was excited too. On the driveway back to the lodge, our guide beeped his horn the whole way to announce our return from a very successful morning. It was a great way to end an incredible drive! When I walked into the lodge, two more friends wished me happy birthday and gave me a hug. I noticed some balloons hanging around and then I saw a chair with a sign saying "Happy Birthday, Jessie!" Just when I thought the morning was as good as it could be, it got even better.

After lunch, there was another unexpected surprise. The kitchen staff has made a cake! Often when it's somebody's birthday, they baked cake for dessert after dinner, so I wasn't expecting one after lunch! Everybody sang Happy Birthday and cheered as I made the first cut of the cake. After lunch and a big slice of cake, I was as happily stuffed as a lion after a good meal.

Speaking of lions, we found the North Pride on our evening drive. They had been pigging out all day on a kill they got earlier in the day. By the time, we found them, they were stuffed and exhausted. It is always amazing to find a pride of lions after a big meal. It's like a family after a good Thanksgiving dinner. The animals are relaxed and there's always some interesting behavior. This time we saw a lioness licking and cleaning one of the cubs. The rest of the drive was uneventful except for the part where we almost ran over a snake! We got to see a brilliant red sunset which was a treat because we hadn't seen the sun at all for the last few days.

After the drive, I decided to treat myself a birthday beer or a few =) with dinner. Maybe it was the beer, but I started thinking about all the things that have happened in the past year. I couldn't believe how far I had come--all the way to Africa. Twice. I was feeling pretty humble about all the remarkable things that have fallen into my life because of being in Africa.

I had kind of assumed the celebration was over, but no! My roommate and few other volunteers surprised me with another special cake. This one was a plate of marshmallows smothered in chocolate. It was a British version of smores and it was delicious! They also gave me some more gifts and a card signed by everybody, all of the volunteers and the staff.

The greatest gift, of course, is spending my birthday in Africa with all these amazing people. I'm so lucky to have spent 2 months and 2 weeks here. I've gotten to know and appreciate the staff even more than I did on my first visit. I've gotten to meet and become friends with volunteers from all over the world. We've shared SO many laughs, a few good cries, amazing sightings of the animals, and memories that will last for the rest of my life. So, this is official. My 25th birthday was the greates and bestest birthday in my entire life!