Leaving My Heart in Harnas

I had to say good-bye to Harnas Wildlife Foundation yesterday. I simply do not have the words to explain how special this place was for me. All I can do is list some of the highlights from the last four weeks:

• Taking walks and playing with 9 baby and 3 teenage baboons
• Going on exercise walks and cuddling with 5 young cheetahs
• Radio tracking a missing cheetah
• Feeding 23 wild adult cheetahs and holding a bowl of meat so a tame cheetah could eat it
• Hand-rearing a baby impala
• Hearing lions roaring
• Feeding 72 baby tortoises

All of these experiences are so vivid in my mind, but I only have time to write about one so I'm going to tell you what it was like to exercise the 5 young cheetahs. The 5 young cheetahs had so much energy in the morning. Their enclosure wasn't big enough for them to run, play, and chase each other, so we would take them out for a walk/run. One person was assigned to each cheetah and a staff member came along too. We took them outside the farm yard into a fenced area so if they tried to run away, they wouldn't be able to go too far and we would be able to find them.

None of the cheetahs tried to run away while I was there. We had each one on a leash, so if they wanted to run, we had to keep up with them! At lot of days, it was really hot, so running wasn't very appealing. Every time my cheetah looked like it might be thinking about taking off, I always thought "Uh-oh!" I could just see myself falling down and getting dragged along by the cheetah. But that never happened. Most days, the cheetahs weren't interested in running and some days they were kind of lazy and wanted to lie down in the shaded area. That was OK with me!! There's nothing like sitting on the ground, surrounded by beautiful young cheetahs!!!

There are so many more experiences, but I can't remember the details right now. All I know is that Harnas will be forever in my heart.

It wasn't just the animals that made Harnas memorable for me. The people were amazing too. The staff members made me feel welcome and taught me so much about caring for animals. As volunteers, we worked hard, but we felt appreciated.

And then there were the other volunteers. I got to know many of them, and they really made me feel like I was part of the group. My fellow volunteers made me smile, laugh, and cry. I got really close to a few of them and trusted them enough to talk about being deaf. They did everything they could do to communicate with me. They wrote things down, used their flashlights on their faces in the dark, and explained what the group discussion were about. Some of them even wanted to learn a little sign language. I'm not sure these people know how much they did for me. I truly appreciated them and really wanted to stay longer so I could spend more time with them.

Harnas truly was amazing. The setting. The animals. The people. Once I was there, I wanted more time, but I planned this trip to be one month with each of three rehabilitation centers. The last month passed much too quickly, but now my time at Harnas is up. 

Today, I will be traveling to South Africa. I'll fly to Johannesburg, stay overnight and then go on to Moholoholo Wildlife Rehabilitation Center. This time I'll be working with endangered black rhinos including orphans that have lost their mothers to poachers. I plan to enjoy every second of it!

It's hard to imagine going back to the States at the beginning of March. (No offense to my family and friends back home!) This trip has deepened my feelings about Africa. I've been in two really different places. I've worked with so many different animals. I've met extraordinary people and made some friends that I expect to have for a long time.

Each place is unique in its own way, but something about Harnas made me very, very happy. I feel like I am leaving a piece of my heart behind. And some day I will return for a much longer stay.

Two Different Countries. Two Different Approaches to Wildlife.

AHHHHHHHHHHHH I love it here at Harnas Wildlife Foundation in Namibia. It's sooo huge and there are so many animals here.

The contrast between the Lilongwe Wildlife Centre and Harnas Wildlife Foundation is pretty dramatic. For one thing, Malawi and Namibia are very very different from each other. Malawi was extremely hot and very humid. On some days, the humidity was 100% which is probably why my hearing aid failed.

Namibia is even hotter, but it's very dry. In Malawi, the work was more difficult because it rained so much. Namibia has much less annual rainfall. I haven't seen a storm since I got here and I might not see any rain at all. Malawi was very muddy and there centipedes and cockroaches all over the place. Namibia is sandy and there are lots of dung beetles and biting bugs.

When I got to the Lilongwe Wildlife Centre in Malawi, I thought it was good-sized, but you could walk around the entire place in half a day. They had a strict hands-off policy for the animals. We prepared food and then made sure it was available in the enclosures, but some animals weren't even supposed to be seen by humans. Most of our time went to the orphaned vervet or baboon babies.

The Harnas Wildlife Foundation in Steinhausen, Namibia is much much bigger, and the philosophy about animals is different. I was blown away and speechless from the sheer size of the sanctuary here. Also there are sooo many animals roaming freely on the farm and living in harmony with each other. Here's a partial list of what I've seen so far: tortoises, peacocks, ducks, impala, duiker, kudu, eland, sheep, banded mongoose, bat eared foxes, porcupine, turkeys, geese, pumba, warthog, owl, dogs, cats, roosters.

Along the edges of the farm, there are large enclosures for some of the animals that can't roam freely--baby baboons, teenage baboons, hound puppies, vervet monkeys, cheetahs, leopards, crocodiles, meerkats, macaws, african treys, chickens, and baby tortoises (I counted 72 babies!!!). Outside of the farm, there are several other even larger enclosures containing more lions, leopards, cheetahs, wild dogs, baboons, vervet monkeys, caracals, ostriches.

Some of the animals living in the enclosure can't be released because they have injuries or disabilities. In other cares, the animals are endangered. If they were in the wild, they might be hunted or poached, so the Foundation decided that the safest place for them was in the huge enclosures where they roam freely without being in danger of being kidnaped or shot. They will be fed and protected for the rest of their lives.

Even in the area around the volunteer village at Harnas, there are many grazing animals roaming freely, such as impalas, springbucks, wildebeest, horses, donkeys, and more. The volunteer living situation is also quite different here. In Malawi, we stayed in a small building with several bunk beds. We all slept in the same room, right next to the orphaned monkeys enclosure and clinic. There were only two showers and a toilet to share among the volunteers, and water was always scarce.

In Namibia, there's a volunteer village in the middle of the sanctuary. There are several cabins with 4 beds in each cabin. Showers and toilets are outside in the center of the volunteer village. Water is a problem here too. Shower time is very limited, otherwise there wouldn't be enough water for everyone.

The wildlife centers in Malawi and Namibia are very different, but they have the same goals. First, they are trying to save animals that are orphaned, injured, or confiscated from illegal owners. Second, they provide sanctuary for animals that cannot survive on their own or are in great danger of becoming extinct. For me, it's been really interesting to see the different ways that different organizations in different countries accomplish the same purpose.

When I was planning this trip, I thought a lot about whether I should spend all my time on one project. In some ways that would have been easier--no travel in between placements and less time spent trying to get to know new people and new routines. In the end, I decided to work in three different rehabilitation centers, and now I'm really glad I made that choice. It's not always easy, but I love having new experiences--new places, new animals, new people, new ideas!!!

Leaving Malawi for Namibia

My time in Malawi is ending. This month has gone so fast. Working with the baby vervet monkeys has been amazing. I have seen a lot of different types of primates, and I have learned a lot.

Now I’m preparing for my second month in Africa and my second project in Namibia. I’d love to say I’m feeling ready, but unfortunately I’ve had some bad luck during my last week in Malawi.

One of my hearing aids died This is a big deal. I’ve worn hearing aids since I was a baby. Hearing aids don’t make me into hearing person. I still need to lip read to understand what people say. But they make me less deaf. With the hearing aids, I know that someone is calling out to me so at least I can turn to look at them. 

At first I thought the battery was bad, but even with a new battery, the aid was dead. Second I thought maybe it was a moisture problem. Moisture corrodes the tiny parts in hearing aids and it’s very humid in Malawi. I put the aid in a dry-aid jar that’s supposed to dry out the moisture in the hearing aid. After 36 hours, it still didn’t work.

That crushed me. I still have another 2 months in Africa and two more projects where I have to meet new people and learn new routines. I am not sure that I can get by with just one hearing aid. Volunteers and staff members come from all over the world. Some of them have unfamiliar accents and I am worried that one hearing aid won’t be enough for me to hear and communicate with others. 

I guess I should have thought about a back-up plan for hearing aids. It turns out that many professionals in Africa don’t work between Christmas and New Year’s. My hearing aids are digital so even if I can get a new one, it needs to be programmed. My mother is trying to reach my audiologist in the States to find out about the programming. The next placement is in a very remote part of Namibia, but it seems like maybe there is a service that will deliver there. I’m hoping that I will get a replacement aid sometime early in January.

In the meantime, it will make this transition a bigger struggle. In a short time, I have come to love this place, and I know I will be very sad when I have to say good-bye to the monkeys that have been in my care. I will miss the people too. It took a little while to feel comfortable, but now I do. And now I am leaving. 

I have been checking out my next project. Namibia will be even hotter and more humid than Malawi. I haven’t seen a temperature of 100 in Malawi, but it looks like it will reach 100 in Namibia. The major city in Namibia is Windhoek, but I’ll be in a little place called Gobabis. If you check Google maps, you’ll see it’s pretty much in the middle of nowhere.

That’s probably good for the animals, but it won’t be great for communication. I’m sending this post from a guesthouse in Windhoek. I don’t know if I’ll be able to update my blog for the next month. If I can, I’ll post. But if you don’t see anything from me, don’t worry. It may not be easy, but I’m doing the work I love and I’ll tell you about it when I can. 

Christmas in Malawi

Christmas in Malawi was definitely different, but very memorable. There was no snow, of course. The weather here is very hot and humid.

I knew I wouldn’t be having a day off or finding presents under a tree in the morning. Baby monkeys need to be fed every hour, so it was a working day for everybody. But before going to work, I decided to have a video chat with my family back home. When I woke up at 5 in the morning on Christmas, it was Christmas Eve evening back home so that was perfect. 

It took awhile to find the proper connection, but we did and I could finally see my parents and younger brother. It was great seeing their faces and chatting with them. They were curious about what I had been doing so I told them about how I was caring for 4 baby monkeys and some other animals. We chatted for almost an hour. Then I had to rush to grab breakfast before going to work for the day.

One of the staff members made pancakes for everybody. We usually have toasts or whatever we can make ourselves so the pancakes were a special treat, and they were delicious! We had also decorated the hang out room. I cut out some paper snowflakes and we had a small fake tree with a little ornament and one string of lightings. It was just enough to make it feel like Christmas.

After filling my stomach up with pancakes, I went to work with my four little monkeys—Frank, Aboo, Affe, and Trouble. They have to be fed every hour—even on Christmas! I was feeling really good, full of happiness about the work that I am doing. I worked until 3 and then had the rest of the afternoon off—a nice Christmas present which gave me a chance to catch up on my sleep.

After my nap, I was getting ready for Christmas dinner. I checked my phone and noticed there was a post from my older brother’s girlfriend. I wanted to be sure I was getting the message right, so I stopped by the reception before dinner to use the Wifi. That message was the best Christmas present ever. I’m getting a sister! Well, actually a sister-in-law. My big brother popped the big question to his beautiful lady and she said yes. I was so excited for them that I shed happy tears. I love my two brothers, but all my life I wanted a sister. And now I feel like I’m finally getting one, thanks to my big brother!

At dinner, there were presents on the table for each volunteer and staff member. We had picked people for Secret Santa gifts, and my Santa got me a bottle of my favorite beer and a chocolate bar. Even though, I could see the Christmas spirit all around me, I started to feel like I used to feel at home. Everyone was talking and I couldn’t follow the conversation. I know it’s just the way it is, but I could feel the Christmas spirit draining away.

After dinner, there was a plan to go out to a casino and play blackjack. I didn’t want to go out with another large group where I would feel left out, and I certainly didn’t want to lose money. I was about to say I would be staying behind when one of the staff mentioned that she and another staff member would be going to a local bar. She offered to take me along, and I chose to go with her instead of the bigger group. It was a really good decision. I had so much fun chatting with them and the local people we met. After a beer or two, we decided to dance the rest of the night away. I completely lost track of time and fell into bed a few hours before dawn.

All in all, it was a great Christmas—and one I will always remember.

Permanent Residents

As I mentioned in an earlier post, Lilongwe has two goals.  Whenever they can, the staff helps animals become strong enough to return to the wild. But, some animals have problems that would make it impossible to survive. Often those problems are the result of human actions. When an animal can’t be released, the Centre takes care of them permanently. As a volunteer, I’ve gotten to know these animals, so I thought I’d tell you about some of them. 

There are two crocodiles, Shelia and Bushdog, that cannot be released because they’ve have been in captivity for too long and don’t know how to hunt on their own. They are Nile crocodile which can grow up to 6.1 meters long. Ordinarily, they live in fresh water such as rivers and Lake Malawi. Both were rescued. Bushdog had been in a zoo after being rescued from a crocodile farm.

We have lots of vervet monkeys in the centre; we believe there are about 100. They live in big groups called troops. Some will be released, but some can’t go back to the wild because they have been in captivity for too long. Others have physical disabilities. I saw one vervet monkey with only one arm. Most of the vervet monkeys were rescued from people who were selling them as pets on the side of the road.

Monkeys do not make good pets, and often come here because they’ve been abandoned or abused. For example, Sprog, one of the male Vervet monkeys I’ve been caring for, was brought in by a man who bought him at the side of the road for 11,000 MKW. When Sprog arrived at the Centre, he was very dehydrated and malnourished and he had pneumonia. The man did the right thing bringing him in, but he should not have paid for him because that encourages the poaching and trade industry

We also have Blue monkeys. Despite their name, they are not actually blue! The hair on their faces has a slight blue tinge. Some of the Blue monkeys here were rescued from Holland and have been in captivity too long to release. Also, the Blue monkeys are not native to Malawi so we cannot release them into this country.

Two types of baboons live here, Olive and Yellow. The Olive baboons came to Lilongwe as part of an International Rescue Programme, after being rescued from circuses and illegal animal traders. They have been in captivity for too long and are not native to Malawi so they can’t be released.  The Yellow baboons have been mostly rescued from being kept as pets or sold illegally. The Wildlife Centre tries to release the Yellow baboons in the Kasungu National Park whenever possible. Baboons are some of the world’s largest monkeys so they don’t make good pets either.

We also have a few cats here. There are two servals, a small African wild cat. One named Charley was rescued from animal traders when he was just 6 weeks old. He has cataracts which make his vision cloudy so he wouldn’t be able to survive in the wild. The other serval is named Hamu.  He was found on the road and is too comfortable with people.  We are trying to minimize contact with him in the hope that he will eventually be able to go back to the wild.   

There are also a pair of African lions, Simba and Bella.  The female, Bella, only has one eye and joint problems because she was kept poorly in a zoo in Europe. Because of her disabilities and long captivity she cannot be released. Simba was rescued from a circus in Belgium by Born Free.  He now lives happily with Bella. Keeping these cats safe is a big deal because there are only 30 wild lions left in Malawi.

The sanctuary also has two types of antelope, Duiker and Bushbuck. Duiker are tiny, shy antelopes with horns. Some were brought in by people who thought the babies had been abandoned, even though the mother probably just left in search of food. Others have been rescued from people selling them as pets on the roadside. For example, one of our male Duiker, named Doxy, was  sold to a lecturer at Luanar College. A student, who works as a ranger, saw him and called Lilongwe. Doxy was confiscated and brought here.

Bushbucks are medium-sized antelopes with white stripes and dots on their sides. Often we see orphans whose mothers have been killed by people who trade in illegal bush meat.  Fortunately, most of the orphaned Bushbacks can be rehabilitated and released into Kuti Wildlife Reserve.

Last but not least, there’s also a big rock python named Henry. He joined us from the zoo so he doesn’t know how to hunt on his own. He’s 13 years old and 4 meters long. He’s not venomous but he could be deadly if he’s not handled properly.   

Caring for all of these permanent residents is a big job. That’s one of the reasons the Lilongwe Wildlife Centre needs so many volunteers and donations too. For myself, I just feel lucky to be in a place that tries to do the right thing for these animals. Wild animals simply don’t belong in people’s homes or circuses or zoos that can't care for them properly.  Whenever they can, the staff here tries to rehabilitate animals so they can live in the wild.  And, when that's not possible, they give the animals a permanent home where they won't be neglected or mistreated.

Morrisey and Maymoun

December 13 was a very hard day.

I woke up early like I always do. I can't seem to help myself, I always wake up at sunrise or just before sunrise whenever I'm in Africa. Maybe I know my time here is short so I don't want to miss a single moment or maybe there's a special energy from the land in Africa that wakes me up in the morning.

But this morning was different from other mornings. I had a sinking feeling that something was very wrong. I couldn't put my finger on it or figure out why I had this feeling, but it made me very uneasy. I decided to use the WiFi real quick to check my emails, thinking maybe there was something wrong with my family or my friends. But no, that wasn't it.

I was getting ready for my day at the Center, preparing milk for a young vervet monkey named Sprog. And then I noticed everybody looking very concerned and staring at the enclosure where Morrisey and Maymoun were staying. I looked over and noticed one of other volunteers who had been sharing the care of M & M with me. He was holding his head in his hands. I looked down at the floor of the enclosure. Morrisey was lying lifeless on the floor and Maymoun was motionless inside the crate. My heart broke right there and then.

I had no idea what to think. I wanted to run into the enclosure to wake them up, but I had a job to do. I took the milk to Sprog and waited for him to finish his breakfast. My mind was spinning. I couldn't believe it. The two baby vervet monkeys I have been caring for during the past 12 days are gone forever. I had formed such a strong bond with the two babies in such a short time. It seems like I was feeling uneasy because somehow I knew they were already gone before I even saw them.

It really broke my heart, and I had the hardest time maintaining my face and myself. Since I was supposed to care for M & M during the day, I ended up with an easier workday. That gave me a chance to grieve and pick myself up again.

I had to remind myself that working in rehabilitation will always be hard. In some ways, it's almost like being a doctor. Much as you want to, you can't save every animals. Sometimes their injuries are too great. Sometimes they are simply too weak. Sometimes we don't really know what they need. And losing the babies is especially sad.

I thought back to the first time I felt a life end while I was holding a baby bird in my hands. I was only a volunteer at SB Wildlife Care Network, and the staff had sheltered me from some of the hard parts of the job. When I got home that day, I wept. And, on Sunday, I have to admit that I shed some tears for M & M.

The day was hard, but we still have many other animals to take care of and worry about at the Lilongwe Wildlife Centre. We simply don't have time to dwell on the losses. So, as the day went on, I reminded myself of all the times we have succeeded. In so many cases, I've been part of the team that nursed animals back to health so they could be released into the wild. Remembering those successes brought a small smile back to my face and a more peaceful feeling to my broken heart.

The Mission at Lilongwe

I suppose I should write a little about the place where I am volunteering.

Lilongwe Wildlife Center is a wildlife rehabilitation center and also a sanctuary. It’s important to understand the difference between a sanctuary and a zoo. A sanctuary provides large enclosures where animals can roam freely while most zoos have limited space for the animals. In a sanctuary, there’s no contact whatsoever between animals and humans. Unlike zoos, sanctuaries don’t trade, exchange, or breed animals. The animals aren’t used to educate or entertain people.

Whenever possible, animals at the Center are released back into the wild. In cases where animals really aren’t able to survive on their own; the sanctuary takes care of them permanently. We have two lions here that were rescued from circus or zoo. They both have physical disabilities that make it impossible for them to live in the wild so they are living protected, happy lives here at the sanctuary. 

The people who work at Lilongwe have thought carefully about what it means to be a wildlife sanctuary. There are five parts to their mission: animal care, education, raising the profile of wildlife conservation, habitat protection, and law enforcement. All of these are familiar to me because of my work at the Wildlife Care Network at home.   

Animal care – The welfare of the animals always comes first. The Lilongwe Centre provides the highest standard of care in a natural environment and in large enclosures where animals can have privacy and roam freely. They oppose captive breeding. And they have a hands-off policy, so animals won’t get used to human contact and can be returned to the wild whenever possible.

Education - People need to learn about wildlife and why it is important to protect threatened species.  Children, in particular, need to be educated. Around 60% of the visitors to the sanctuary are children.  They are ultimately the future of Malawi, so if wildlife is going to survive in the future, these children must learn to appreciate and respect the animals.

Wildlife Conservation – The Center hopes to inspire all their visitors so they understand the importance of conserving Malawi’s natural heritage. They also work in partnership with government agencies to raise public awareness.  And they have won international awards for this vital work. 

Habitat Protection - If we can’t preserve wild land, we can’t protect wildlife. Protecting habitats like forests and wetlands is a challenge all over the world. The Center works hard to protect their own reserve and also does community outreach, helping other communities protect the settings where wild animals live.   

Law Enforcement – The Center works in partnership with the Department of National Parks and Wildlife to help enforce the laws that protect wildlife. They also provide sanctuary space for wild animals confiscated by customs or DNPW officials.

I will only be a volunteer here for a short time, but I am very proud to be part of an organization that is committed to these principles. If you want to know more about the Lilongwe Wildlife Center, they have a website—lilongwewildlife.org. 

First Week and Deafness

I suppose I should be used to it by now. The first week in a new place is always tough for me. Any place, any people, any situation. I always go through the same things, and they always make me question myself and my decisions. People who know me well will know that this post is about being deaf. There's no way around it. Being deaf makes complicated situations more complicated.

I won't lie. My first week in Malawi was rough. Like all the volunteers, I was adjusting to a new place and a demanding schedule and lost luggage (more about that later). But I was also in the position of being the first deaf person most of the people here had ever met, and they really didn't know how to communicate with me.

The volunteers all seemed nice enough. We talked enough to learn each other's names and little more. Of course, I was hoping to talk to the staff to learn as much as possible about wildlife rehabilitation. Instead staff members seemed very frustrated to have me as part of the team. I know they have a very hard job, and that it's challenging to adjust to new volunteers all the time. But I am very serious about this work, and at first staff didn't seem to want to talk with me at all. They got frustrated easily, and they seemed annoyed if I didn't understand them or asked them to repeat themselves. Sometimes it felt like they didn't have any patience or any interest in learning to deal with a deaf person.

That made me very disrespected. I wanted to cry, yell, and swear. I wanted to shout at everybody to let them know that I am an actual human being who happens to be deaf. I know it takes a little extra work to communicate with me, but I also know I can make a contribution if I get a little help. 

When I was younger, this would have sent me into a tailspin. Now, I have more perspective. I know that I have to be patient with hearing people. And I really don't want to misrepresent the deaf community by behaving badly. I want to rise above. I know that I'm doing the best I can as a deaf person and I need to give hearing people time to learn how to communicate with me.

I don't need a lot. Having things in writing helps. (I actually think that would help hearing volunteers too.) And people need to face me when they talk. They don't need to talk louder, but it helps if they slow down a little. And they could cut me a little slack if I don't understand something the first time they say it. It takes a little time to learn to lip read a lot of new people.

I got through the first week thinking about my goal. I didn't really come to Africa to make friends, (though I can't help hoping that will happen.) I came to learn more about wildlife rehabilitation. I'm here to help animals, and the animals here are amazing!

We have plenty of volunteers at Lilongwe, so every one of us is assigned one or two animals or projects. I'm currently caring for two baby vervet monkeys named Morrisey and Maymoun. I also make sure one other vervet monkey gets milk every few hours. 

At first, I couldn't believe what I was supposed to do as caregiver for a baby vervet. I just sit in the enclosure and let him be. No petting, grabbing, or cuddling of any kind. We do only what a mother monkey would do--letting the babies come to us and then grooming them by acting like we are looking for insects.

The two vervet monkeys are so entertaining--and tiring too! Morrisey is about 5-6 weeks old and Maymoun is maybe a little bit younger. Morrisey loves to cuddle with a towel or blanket when he naps. Maymoun would rather cling to my hand or arm when she sleeps. That makes sense since baby monkeys cling to their mothers when they sleep in the wild. 

When it's time to feed the babies, we give them bottles of milk through the fences without handling them. The policies are very strict, because we want to keep the babies wild and not too friendly toward humans. At first it was hard not to pet them because baby monkeys are so freaking adorable! But I agree with the mission at Lilongwe. These animals belong in the wild and we need to do everything we can to get them ready to return to their natural home.

In many ways, I feel like I've returned to my home. Despite all the challenges, I love being back in Africa. And I love being with the animals. Maybe that's because my deafness doesn't bother them at all. 

Gratitude

Yelp! Less than few days before I leave for Africa once again. I'll be gone for three months just like I was last time, but this trip feels very different. 

Before my last trip 2 and half years ago, I was working as an overnight stocker at Toys r Us before the holidays. It was a crazy job and there was only one thing that kept me going--earn enough money to go back to South Africa! I really wanted to get back to the animals in Africa, maybe because I didn't have much happening with people in America.

This time is different. I am taking a leave from a job and a work family that I have come to love. It happened gradually from my first days as a volunteer at the Wildlife Care Network. Now I care deeply about the work, the animals, and the people. I'm nearing my last days at work and it has been emotional. Leaving, even for a few months, is a lot harder than I thought it would be.

Preparing for this trip has also been very different. One of the projects sent me a packing list with strong recommendation about what I should bring. It has been a very interesting scavenger hunt, trying to track down all the supplies. Surgical gloves first aid kit, water purification. They even wanted me to try to pack sterile needles because they often have shortages.

The craziest part about my trip is that I'm leaving on the Sunday after Thanksgiving...I didn't think about this when I booked the trip, but that's the busiest day of the year at the airport! I don't mind all the people, but I hate the waiting. I will be flying out from L.A.X. which is about a two hour drive when there's no traffic. But is it Sunday after Thanksgiving so there will be traffic!!!

I figure I need to leave my town 7 hours before my flight is scheduled to leave just to be safe. Oh how my nerves will be all over the place! I know from my experiences on the last two trips I was a wreck up until I took my seat on the plane. Then I thought "What am I worried about?" and I passed out from the wrecked nerves =). It's a long flight from LA to London, but I bet I will sleep like a baby!

Since this was Thanksgiving week, some family members I don't see very often have been visiting. I'm very grateful I got to see my cousins, my aunts, and my uncle before I leave for Africa. They have been telling me that they are so proud of me and that it is amazing thing I will be doing. I've been so caught up in the details that it was good to take a deep breath and just feel the gratitude. I am grateful for my family and my newfound friends, grateful that I've found work I love in States, grateful for the opportunity to go back to Africa.

And now I've got to get back to packing!!!

A year ago, I was kind of in a holding pattern. I’d been in California for a while, but it didn’t look like I was going to meet and make good friends. Now I’ve found a community that I love. And I’m also going to fulfill a dream and go back to Africa too! I decided to start up this blog again to record my travels.

But maybe I should start at the beginning. Last fall, I was driving people around town and dog sitting to make money. I was playing  kickball and softball, and I satisfied my urge to explore by going on a few road trips. In the spring, I had a health scare and had to undergo surgery. When I found out I was healthy, I did extended training so I could start volunteering at the local Zoo in addition to the Santa Barbara Wildlife Care Network. A few days before the Refugio oil spill, the Network offered me a part-time job. Because the staff was working so hard to respond to the oil spill, I was quickly promoted to full-time.    

I’ve learned so much from working with WCN. The staff works very hard  and they’ve taught me so much about rescue and rehabilitation. Ever since my first trip to South Africa, I’ve been very aware that there is something extraordinary about seeing wild animals that are free. Wild animals are born on the same planet as we are, and I believe we should share the land with them. The people at WCN share that philosophy. We help animals that are sick or injured, but our goal is always to release them back into the wild as quickly as possible

A year ago, I didn’t think I would find a work family. I didn’t think I was going to get a chance to do what I love to do. But I never gave up on my dream of making things better for animals. I kept volunteering and never asked for a day off. I knew what I wanted and kept focused and committed to my values. I also knew that, during the winter, there aren’t as many animals at WCN.  It’s a small non-prrofit so they told me they would have to cut back my hours in the fall.  

I started thinking about what I could do to learn more about wildlife rehabilitation. It didn’t take long before I was planning my third trip to Africa. This trip will be very different from the other two. I will not be focusing on photography or siteseeing. I found 3 projects that focus on the kind of willife rehabilitation that I believe in so strongly. I’ll spend three months, working at three different projects in three different countries—Malawi, Namibia and South Africa. The placements will be different but the mission will be the same—helping sick and injured wildlife recover so they can return to the wild. 

In some ways, this trip is a gamble for me. I am leaving behind a job with an organization I have come to love and appreciate. There is no guarantee the job will be there for me when I return from Africa. I had to make a choice: work one day a week during the next few months or see what I could learn by helping other organizations that care about wildlife. It’s a risk but it’s one that I am willing to take.  . 

The other day I was talking with my mom and she asked me a question: “Why do you like working with animals?” I responded “I honestly don’t know.” And we just burst out in laughter.  

Later, I gave some serious thought to the question. At first, I thought that it’s just easier to be with animals than people.  And then I remembered that animals have been important to me ever since I was a small child. I grew up loving any animals I saw or came across. I don’t remember much about my first home in New Hampshire—except seeing a moose in the north country and seeing an owl that somehow got into our house.  (My Dad rescued it and set it free!)

When I was a little older in Ohio, I remember finding a baby bird and trying to care for it. I also remember the baby ducklings that got stuck in our pool and my brother helped rescue them. When I was a kid I also remember the emotions I felt when we visited the zoo or went to the circus. I didn’t like seeing animals in cages or being forced to perform. I think I always felt strongly that wild animals should be free.  

I guess most kids have different ideas about their dream job. For a while I wanted to be a Basketball player or a Soccer player. Or maybe a firefighter. In college, I thought about film-making, graphic design and, of course, photography. Now I feel as though I’ve found what I’m supposed to do. I feel as though I make a difference every time I am involved in rescuing, rehabilitating or releasing an animal. 

A Year in Motion

It's a little hard to believe, but one year ago, I was preparing to go to South Africa for three months of work as a volunteer photographer. At the time, I assumed I'd be working--either in Africa or America--by the end of the year.

That's not exactly how things worked out, and now I'm moving again in a different direction, and it seems like a good time to think about what has changed and what is the same.

This has been a year in motion. After those three months in Africa, I drove across the country by myself to help my parents get settled on the west coast. Then I drove all the way up the east coast from Florida. I've probably been in at least 45 of the fifty states.

What ties all this together is people. I came together with family after my grandmother died, and I got to be part of a memorial for a beloved coach. I reconnected with old friends and made new ones. And I shared in the joy when one of my great friends got married.

After I graduated from college, I think that I expected to find a place where I would get a job and settle down and have a circle of friends I saw all the time. Maybe that will still happen, but I've learned a lot from my year on the move.

1. It is not a bad thing to end up somewhere other than where you thought you were going. Life is unpredictable. Get used to it. Appreciate the detours. 
2. Dreams change. When I was in high school, my dream was to go to Hollywood and make movies. None of that matters to me anymore, and that's OK.
3. Step out of your comfort zone. Talk to strangers. They know things you never knew you wanted to know. Try new experiences. Even if they don't turn out the way you hoped, they will teach you things you never knew about yourself.
4. Make the most of every moment. That doesn't mean you have to change everything about your life, but you do want to be aware of every moment. And, if there's something that calls to you--and keeps calling, do it.

A year ago, I could not have predicted all the things that happened the past twelve months. And I honestly do not know where I will be a year from now. Will this be another year on the move? Or will it be the year that I find the job and the people that make me want to settle in one place? The only way to find the answer is to set off on the journey. Here I go!

Coach Ken McDonald

It's been a while since I posted an entry on this blog. A lot has happened, and I have many things to say. At the same time, I find it hard lately to be able to speak my thoughts or feelings out loud. In the past, writing has helped me think more clearly and make senses of my feelings. And now seems like the right time to try it again. Here goes.


I don't normally talk about the people in my life. I guess I'm kind of protective or private when it comes to family or friends. But there are a few people it seems like I should talk about, especially the ones whe have recently passed away.

The person who is in my heart this week was a soccer coach of mine. In 2009, he was the head coach for both the Men's AND Women's Soccer teams at Deaflympics. He believed in me and gave me a chance at a time when it felt like nobody else did, a time when I was even doubting myself. I wasn't the only person to have this experience. He did the same for hundreds, maybe thousands of other soccer players. His name was Ken McDonald, or as we affectionately called him, Coach Mac.

It's really hard for me to find the words to describe this great man who was so important to me and so many other people. When he was coaching the Deaflympics team, he always told me to believe in myself and I would do great things. I have so many memories of things he did to encourage me, but one stands out in my memory. It was halftime during the first game in the 2009 Deaflympics in Taiwan. Coach Mac pulled me out of the huddle and waved me over with a serious look on his face. I thought I had made a mistake in the first half and he was going to tell me that I had to do better. Instead he game a huge bear hug and smiled. "You did good," he said. It was just a simple sentence and gesture, but it got me pumped up. More than any lecture could, I wanted to prove him right. I wanted to do my best for the team, for Coach Mac, for myself. After the last game, when we were undefeated and had received our gold medals, I gave Coach Ken a huge hug and thanked him for seeing what I could do even when I couldn't see it for myself.


That's not the whole story. Coach Mac gave his all to our Deaflympics teams even though he was fighting for his life. He had a battle with cancer for 7 and half years. Even though he was sick, he kept on coaching soccer. I am amazed and humbled by his dedication and commitment to the players and teams he has coached during the last few years. He kept going because he had a deep love for the game, a powerful faith in the potential of his players and the support of his amazing wife, Terri. So many soccer players have benefited from Ken's immense knowledge of the game. So many young people have become better than they knew they could be because of his faith in them. So many of us have been inspired by his determination to make the most of his life despite his cancer.


Coach Mac died last weekend. It seemed important to me to put down in words the impact he had on my life. I am a better person because I knew him. His life made a difference, and he will be missed.

Sala kahle Thanda

Three months... The time flew by WAY too fast. I do not know how to describe or explain these extraordinary months. I could say it was like a dream or I could say it was epic. Nothing really captures the intensity of my experience and my emotions. All I know for sure is that I truly do not want to leave this magical place. I know it is time to move on and start another chapter of my life. And I also know that I will return to Africa again and again and again for the rest of my life.

Thursday was my last night and the game drive was absolutely amazing. We came across two male giraffes fighting for dominance. They were swinging their long necks at each other, hitting each other with their skulls and horns. I had seen this before, but it’s a rare sight and very exciting to watch.

Just before the sun set, we met up with the rest of the volunteers and staff at one of the highest peaks. This was my sixth and last sundowner on this trip, and it was absolutely gorgeous. The sun was setting behind one of the mountains and the sky was constantly changing colors, from baby blue to pinkish to purplish. Finally the sky was dark blue with a few bright stars coming out and an amazingly pinkish moon rising on the other side. I was feeling emotional, enjoying the views and thinking about how much I love this place. I renewed my vow to return.

On my last morning drive, I got lucky and saw my favorite of all animal – the rhinos. For some reasons, I have always enjoyed seeing rhinos, both individuals and as a group or crash. Even when they were being boring, just eating or standing around staring at us, I felt overwhelmed by their powerful, prehistoric look. That morning, I couldn’t help wondering whether this would be the last time I would see a rhino. Poaching is still a great danger and these magnificent animals are in danger of becoming extinct. I hope we will win the war against poachers and that the rhinos will be in less danger the next time I come to Africa.

After the morning drive, I decided to do the elephant interaction. I did this on my first visit, and this time was even better. After observing elephants so often in the wild, it was incredibly awe-inspiring to see these animals up close and simply stand beside them. I got to touch the same elephants I touched last year and I could see that the calf had grown a little bigger. I took my time, soaking it all in, feeding them, petting them, touching their trunks, and even talking to them. Their strength and presence made me feel more grounded, and it was a wonderful way to end my time on the Thanda game reserve.

Leaving was almost impossible. It was very hard to pack up everything. This has been my home for three months and I have come to love it very much. It was especially hard to say good-bye to the kitchen and housekeeping staff. Every single day, we made small talk or jokes together. They heard about when I fell on my butt trying the Zulu dance and have always teases me about it. When I was saying goodbye to the staff, they started clapping and doing the Zulu dance. I joined them and this time I was actually pretty good at it! ( I have been practicing!) This made it even harder to say goodbye to some of the friendlies people I have ever gotten to know. 

Saying goodbye to the land itself was also very sad. As we were packing the van with our luggage, I took one last look around, and it hit me hard that I was really leaving this place. I have watched the land turn from green to golden, and I have loved every single thing about it. I may have lived here for only three months, but Thanda feels like home in the most powerful sense of the word.

I will miss seeing the animals. This time, I got to know some of them as unique individuals with their own habits and temperaments. When I came last year, both lion prides were growing and had sub-adults cubs. This time, I got to see how much those cubs have grown. And now there are new cubs. It makes me sad to think I won't see them grow up. I have witnessed so much about how the lions and other animals live--mating, fighting, eating, drinking. As we drove away, I kept thinking about everything that has happened in the past three months, and I started to cry because I know I won't see this beautiful magical reserve for a long time.

In three months, I have met and gotten to know at least 30 volunteers from different countries as well as many local friends. I have shared laughs with many of them. Some of the people I've met have been incredibly inspiring, teaching me a lot about life and giving me ideas about what I can do when I return back to America. I'm truly lucky to have met so many extraordinary people. The experiences I've had here were more meaningful because they were shared with such wonderful people.

The African Impact team at Thanda has been absolutely incredible. On this trip, I have gotten to know them well, and every single member has made a huge impact on me and touched my heart. I am so proud of what they are doing and what they will be doing for the rest of the year. I feel truly humble and honored to have had them be part of my life for three months. Through them, I have learned so much more about myself, the type of person I am, the good and the bad. They have given me love and even tough love. I will always appreciate everything they have done for me.

I am genuinely sad to leave this amazing place which feels like my home, and the wonderful staff who have become my family. I will always have the last three months in my heart.

Sala kahle Thanda, South Africa, Africa

Thank you for allowing me to return and volunteer for three amazing months.

Thank you for the dedicated AI team members who taught me so much.

Thank you for all the fellow volunteers and the good times we have shared.

Thank you for many great experiences seeing the unique, wild animals that belong to this land.

Thank you for helping me learn so much more about who I am and what I want.

I shall return again and again and again.

This is not goodbye.

This is farewell. I WILL see you again.

With love from a heart that is overflowing.

25th Birthday in Africa

I had the GREATEST birthday ever in my entire life in Africa. That's saying something because I've had some pretty great birthdays in the past. This year, my birthday was made incredibly special by all of the amazing people here at Thanda. I woke up to a very sweet birthday card and a small gift from my roommate. It seems like fate that we are roommates because she's deaf in one ear and we've gotten to be really great friends.

Even before the morning game drive at 6 AM, everybody came up to me and wished me happy birthday, so I had a feeling it was going to be a great day. Surte enought, as soon as we got into the reserve, we found the two cheetah brothers. They often take a morning walk along the fence, only this time, several lions from the North Pride were standing in their way. When the cheetahs saw the lions, they immediately froze with their ears tensed up. The lions froze too. We were also tense because a couple weeks ago, the lions had killed one of the female cheetahs. It was very sad, but death is part of life here at Thanda.

After a few heart-pounding moments, the cheetahs looked back to see if they had an escape route. As soon as the lions started moving, the cheetahs turned around and walked as fast as they could right past the Land Rover while staying very low. They disappeared behind the Land Rover, and two of the lions jogged down the road chasing them away. The lions were obviously protecting their territory. i had never seen a confrontation between two big cats so we were off to a very exciting start!

We continued our morning drive, hoping to see other animals such as rhinos, elephants, or the other pride of lions. No such luck. We saw a few impalas and some birds. Then suddenly, I could hear excitement from the back of the Land Rover. Our guide stopped the vehicle immediately. He was looking intently at the thick dense bush on his right. I was in the passenger seat beside him, so I couldn't see much but it looked as though there was no opening along the dirt road. The guide turned to me and said quietly, "Leopard."

He pointed, and I immediately saw an orange coat with rosette shaped spots. I couldn't get a photo because the bush was so dense. If you didn't keep your eyes focused on the leopard, you would lose him in the shadows. This was only my second leopard sighting on this trip! It was a great birthday present! Then the leopard started moving and disappeared from sight. Our guide drove back and forth along the dirt road, hoping to find him again. No luck. We were pretty sure he was nearby, but he was very quiet and still and well-hidden.

Just when we were about to give up and move on, a leopard appeared on the side of the road. "It's not the same one," said our guide in surprise. "It's a different leopard." The second leopard was running, but our guide wouldn't let him get away that easily. He drove off the dirt road and into the dense bush. We caught a glimpse of the leopard running toward cover near one of the trees. Such a beautiful sight! His bright white and orange coat was covered with rosette spots.

We pulled back onto the dirt road and found a small opening where we could get off the road more easily. Our guide parked right under a tree and pointed to the second leopard. His face was blocked by some tree branches, so I couldn't get a photograph of him. I had to squeeze myself between two seats so I get a better view. Then I saw his entire face and body just laying low under a tree. I couldn't believe it! He was magnificent, and I managed to get a few wonderful photographs of him. Oh how happy I was! I had seen all three big cats on one drive! I showed our guide some of the photographs I had just taken and he whispered, "Best birthday, right?" I had to agree. This ws the best birthdy present I have ever gotten!

Everyone else was excited too. On the driveway back to the lodge, our guide beeped his horn the whole way to announce our return from a very successful morning. It was a great way to end an incredible drive! When I walked into the lodge, two more friends wished me happy birthday and gave me a hug. I noticed some balloons hanging around and then I saw a chair with a sign saying "Happy Birthday, Jessie!" Just when I thought the morning was as good as it could be, it got even better.

After lunch, there was another unexpected surprise. The kitchen staff has made a cake! Often when it's somebody's birthday, they baked cake for dessert after dinner, so I wasn't expecting one after lunch! Everybody sang Happy Birthday and cheered as I made the first cut of the cake. After lunch and a big slice of cake, I was as happily stuffed as a lion after a good meal.

Speaking of lions, we found the North Pride on our evening drive. They had been pigging out all day on a kill they got earlier in the day. By the time, we found them, they were stuffed and exhausted. It is always amazing to find a pride of lions after a big meal. It's like a family after a good Thanksgiving dinner. The animals are relaxed and there's always some interesting behavior. This time we saw a lioness licking and cleaning one of the cubs. The rest of the drive was uneventful except for the part where we almost ran over a snake! We got to see a brilliant red sunset which was a treat because we hadn't seen the sun at all for the last few days.

After the drive, I decided to treat myself a birthday beer or a few =) with dinner. Maybe it was the beer, but I started thinking about all the things that have happened in the past year. I couldn't believe how far I had come--all the way to Africa. Twice. I was feeling pretty humble about all the remarkable things that have fallen into my life because of being in Africa.

I had kind of assumed the celebration was over, but no! My roommate and few other volunteers surprised me with another special cake. This one was a plate of marshmallows smothered in chocolate. It was a British version of smores and it was delicious! They also gave me some more gifts and a card signed by everybody, all of the volunteers and the staff.

The greatest gift, of course, is spending my birthday in Africa with all these amazing people. I'm so lucky to have spent 2 months and 2 weeks here. I've gotten to know and appreciate the staff even more than I did on my first visit. I've gotten to meet and become friends with volunteers from all over the world. We've shared SO many laughs, a few good cries, amazing sightings of the animals, and memories that will last for the rest of my life. So, this is official. My 25th birthday was the greates and bestest birthday in my entire life!

Working Hard

The last few weeks, I have been picking up more projects and jobs around the lodge to help out the team here at African Impact. There's always something to do here in addition to the daily and weekly work assignments. The staff members are very busy and sometimes frustrated that they do not have the time to do what they need to get done, so I've been trying to help whenever I can. I may be overdoing it because I'm getting a reputation as a workaholic. The truth is that I would really like to work here long term, so I am trying to do everything I can to show that I can be a valuable team member.

Most people who know me know that I have a lot of energy when I'm motivated, so I have also been telling the team here that I'm willing to help with other projects, including the work nobody else feels like doing. Happily, they have taken my offer to help seriously. The office was unorganized so they asked me to help get it organized. It took two whole days to clean out everything. Once I got started, it became pretty obvious why the cleaning staff cleans the lodge every single day. This is Africa, so I had to deal with many bugs, lots of dirt, and even dead mice and birds. Once everything was clean, I put things back in drawers, bookcases, shelves, and even the storage room. I didn't mind doing the dirty works since I came here to volunteer. During unscheduled time, I would rather have something to do rather than sitting around. Everything I do here feels like it's for a good cause. After all, a clean office makes the staff happier =).

After cleaning out the office, I was sort of on a roll, so I also cleaned out and organized the equipment room. I have been the equipment manager ever since I first got here. Basically that job involves getting the tools we need for conservation projects together and ready to go. I also have to make sure none of the tools goes missing or gets lost while we are out on the land, so I take inventory before we leave the conservation area. As you can imagine, the equipment room was even dirtier than the office, full of dirt, spider webs, and gecko poop. Tools were unorganized, clustered together and falling all over the place. It was hard to get the tools out without tripping over anything. Now I'm pleased to say, the equipment room is very organized. There's plenty of space to walk into the room and grab the tools that are needed for specific projects.

Not all of the clean ups involves cobwebs. I have also been helping the photography team clean up their database. There are so many photos in the database, but there's no way to find the ones you want unless they have good keywords. Some of the volunteers don't understand this, so they don't bother keywording their photos. In other cases, keywords are misspelled or in different language. Sometimes keywords don't even match with the photos. Cleaning up the database is very time-consuming and frustrating, but connecting the right keywords with the photos means that staff will be able to use the photos taken by volunteers more effectively.

Now that I'm one of the more experienced volunteers, I've also started helping new volunteers. I can get their questions answered and show them how things are done around here. I try to make sure they are having good times and no trouble. It was especially satisfying to teach some of the photography volunteers to set up to take photos of star trails and seeing their reaction as they got their first results. I realized that I love teaching people what I've learned about photography.

I know some people thought I would get tired of being in Africa after three months. The reality is that I find myself wishing I could stay here and do this kind of work all year long. It's really hard for me to think about returning to America in 3 weeks. I feel a little bad about saying this, but I'm not really looking forward to going back to my old life and the job I had in the States. There's something about Africa that truly makes me happy and heal my spirit. I am glad to do any kind of work because even the dirty, nasty jobs feel meaningful. That may not make a lot of sense to people back home, but I feel like I finally understand why some people are willing to work harder than others. When you find what you truly love, work is satisfying and even joyful.